Frasier: And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon, Par

May 23, 2009

It Waits review

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 11:42 pm

The Product:
What's the bigger crime in a horror movie: offering up a zipper-backed man/monster that's about as believable as an Ed Wood extraterrestrial? Providing the possibility of gory murders without showing any actual sluice? Or giving us a big-busted heroine in a sexy t-shirt, and yet never once finding an excuse to get the 'previously seen in other movies shirtless' gal nekkid? The way you react to these questions will be very important before viewing the latest Anchor Bay release, It Waits. An indie effort, produced by none other than Stephen J. Cannell (that's right, Mr. Hunter/Rockford Files/21 Jump Street himself) and co-scripted by the son of Richard I Am Legend Matheson, what we have, potentially, is a cheesy splatter film full of bloodletting and boobs. What we get, though, is a whole other matter. Instead of horror we get hilarity. Instead of grue there's goofiness. And perhaps the biggest abomination of them all – instead of tits, we get tease…WAY TOO MUCH TEASE!

The Plot:
Poor buxom Danny St. Claire. A night in Vegas pounding shots resulted in the drunk driving death of her sister in skankhood, Julie, and the well-endowed Miss blames herself for the tequila-induced fender bender. As a result, she has taken up forest rangering, and now resides in a lonely observation tower smack dab in the middle of a notorious national forest. Seems several months before, a group of college student researchers unsealed a long closed off cave, and unleashed a horror more deadly than Danny behind the wheel of an SUV. Bodies began piling up like empty Jell-o shooter cups. This dormant demon with a penchant for practical jokes soon sets its sites on the chuffed chested beauty and her new, normal beau Justin. Randomly attacking the ranger station and bellowing like a banshee, Danny initially seems unperturbed. She's too busy knocking back vodka and talking to a smart alecky parrot named Hoppy (it belonged to her now dead best bud) to give a crap. But once the Hellspawn gets personal, Danny doffs her uniform, expands her already outgoing pecs in empowered woman mode, and prepares to face the evil spirit head on. Little does Danny know that this is no ordinary emissary from Hades. Before it kills…It Waits…or so the screenplay says.

Hit the Ice review

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 9:47 pm

Abbott and Costello, street candid cameramen, become mistaken for Detroit gunmen by bank robber Sheldon Leonard, are bystanders at the bank holdup and finally head west to Sun Valley to evade arrest on suspicion. Also going west is Leonard and his two thugs, medico Patric Knowles, nurse Elyse Knox, songstress Ginny Simms and Johnny Long with his orchestra, with Simms and band to launch engagement at the winter resort.

Comedians launch a fast pace at the start, with the bank robbery, visit to the hospital and wild race to a fire providing plenty of opportunity for physical and dialog zaniness. Even train trip west gives the boys something to do, while Costello's adventures as end man on a snap-the-whip routine on the ice rink is a smackeroo laugh highlight. Climactic routine slides the two boys down the mountainside in a standout chase which also includes Leonard and his confederates.

Transporter 3 (2008)

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 11:22 am

The Product:
Jason Statham is, undoubtedly, the reigning action man in Hollywood. Looking over his credits since 2002 (when the first Transporter appeared), he's starred in such high octane, low brow fodder as Crank, War, and Death Race. Apparently, when directors are looking for sinewy ex-models with cocky brogues, omnipresent five-o-clock shadow, and abs that just won't quit, Statham gets the call. While he doesn't have the fully rounded persona of past cinematic heroes, he is definitely cut from the same Stallone/Schwarzenegger cloth. The Transporter franchise has clearly helped Statham's broadening appeal. A home video hit, these one note stunt showpieces are part of the ever-expanding production pantheon of French badboy Luc Besson - and as long as the world responds with cash-flush coffers, we'll be seeing several more of these mindless genre exercises. If they're all as lame as Transporter 3, however, this may be one short-lived set of marginal moneymakers.

The Plot:
Frank Martin has officially retired from being a "transporter". He no longer takes risky assignments from questionable clients. Instead, he simply sits back and goes fishing with cop buddy Inspector Tarconi. However, when an American conglomerate is dissatisfied with the work of one of Frank's associates, they kidnap the driving demon and force him to finish the job. Seems a Ukrainian government official is putting the kibosh on toxic waste dumping in his country, and the US desperately wants those contracts back in action. So Frank ends up "transporting" the man's daughter as part of a harried hostage thing. It's blackmail to "sweeten" the negotiations. With our hero behind the wheel, however, the bad guys rarely get what they want - and this time, it could be personal as Frank begins to have feelings for this latest "package."

The Movie: Goldfish Memory. N…

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 8:27 am

The Movie:

Goldfish Memory. Now this is subtle Irish film is what a sex comedy is supposed to be.

The Story:

Talk about six degrees of separation…or should I say SEX degrees of separation? This gang of horny people—gay, straight, bi, commitment obsessed, commitmentphobic—are all basically sleeping with each other and don't know it. Clara (Fiona O'Shaughnessy) is dating older college professor Tom (Sean Campion), who has his eyes on student Isolde (Fiona Glascott). So Clara, who never considered herself bi, dumps him and starts dating reporter Angie (Flora Montgomery). Meanwhile, Clara's flirting with her male friend Conzo (Demien McAdam), which doesn't sit well with Angie. Angie's gay friend Red (Keith McErlean) has the hots for a waiter at the diner named David Peter Gaynor). Problem is, David claims he's not gay and is dating Rosie (Lisa Hearns). So who is Rosie going to date when she finds out David's actually into men and sleeping with Red? Who's going to stay together? Who will end up alone? Who will end up pregnant? Who's gay? Who's straight? Will everyone's paths ever cross all at one time? Why can't an adorable and distinguished looking older man like Tom keep a woman? And why doesn't he just go for men, because there are plenty who would have him, including yours truly.

These lighthearted vignettes about love and lust are funny (sometimes laugh out loud funny), absurdly yet believably coincidental, and sexy. Not to mention there's a hot soundtrack to go along with it. Then there's the mysterious ode to the goldfish….

"Ultraviolet" is the CG movie…

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 2:57 am

"Ultraviolet" is the CG movie-as-computer game, with a difference. While the best games demand replay, sci-fi/chopsocky specialist Kurt Wimmer's latest isn't likely to lure repeaters, except perhaps lonely young guys communing with an athletically trim Milla Jovovich on their bedroom tubes when this goes to vid, which will doubtless be soon.

Those who feel Sidney Lumet's remake of "Gloria" was the worst possible retelling of John Cassavetes' unusual action meller may reconsider in light of "Ultraviolet," which, pressbook informs, Wimmer spun from a personal love of the film.

Jovovich's vengeful Violet is a gal on a rampage who takes an innocent boy under her wing, but any resemblance to "Gloria" stops there. Pic is hermetically sealed in a synthetic wrapping that's so total — Sony's top-flight high-def cameras, visibly low-budget CG work, exceptionally hackneyed and imitative action and dialogue –that it arrives a nearly lifeless film.

After a zippy comic book-inspired title sequence that graphically mimics the dazzling intro of "Hulk," Violet warns auds — all too accurately — that she was "born into a world you may not understand." Infected with a blood virus first developed to build super soldiers, she is part of an underground group with enhanced physical powers.

Her nemesis is Vice Cardinal Daxus (Nick Chinlund), whose complete command of the hyper-high tech city where the action is set begs the unanswered question: Who can the Cardinal be?

Violet is ordered by underground leader Nerva (Sebastien Andrieu, slumming after Agnes Jaoui's "Look at Me") to retrieve an encased weapon. After mowing down an army of soldiers in her way, Violet discovers that the weapon is actually a child with special attributes named Six (Cameron Bright, far less spooky here than he was in "Birth").

Seeing that everyone is out to get Six — whose blood may contain a cure to what ails Violet and her ilk — she protects him while suffering from her own bouts of illness, with some help along the way from doc friend Garth (a wasted William Fichtner).

Inanely grim, pic could have easily been a delicious genre spoof if made by a different writer-director. Wimmer's filmmaking exudes geeky literalism and the absorption of many better chopsocky pics, but offers nothing new. Fight scenes, choreographed by Mike Smith, are repetitious, using the same ideas and moves over and over, while gunplay is "Matrix"-lite.

Jovovich builds her perf out of a series of poses, while real thesping is handled by ace character actor Chinlund.

Tech work is low quality, particularly in effects-heavy sequences that look like rough drafts rather than the finished product. Shanghai locales have inspired clean lensing by Hong Kong vet Arthur Wong Ngok Tai. Klaus Badelt's score hammers aud ears into submission.

"Ultraviolet" is the CG movie…

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 2:52 am

"Ultraviolet" is the CG movie-as-computer game, with a difference. While the best games demand replay, sci-fi/chopsocky specialist Kurt Wimmer's latest isn't likely to lure repeaters, except perhaps lonely young guys communing with an athletically trim Milla Jovovich on their bedroom tubes when this goes to vid, which will doubtless be soon.

Those who feel Sidney Lumet's remake of "Gloria" was the worst possible retelling of John Cassavetes' unusual action meller may reconsider in light of "Ultraviolet," which, pressbook informs, Wimmer spun from a personal love of the film.

Jovovich's vengeful Violet is a gal on a rampage who takes an innocent boy under her wing, but any resemblance to "Gloria" stops there. Pic is hermetically sealed in a synthetic wrapping that's so total — Sony's top-flight high-def cameras, visibly low-budget CG work, exceptionally hackneyed and imitative action and dialogue –that it arrives a nearly lifeless film.

After a zippy comic book-inspired title sequence that graphically mimics the dazzling intro of "Hulk," Violet warns auds — all too accurately — that she was "born into a world you may not understand." Infected with a blood virus first developed to build super soldiers, she is part of an underground group with enhanced physical powers.

Her nemesis is Vice Cardinal Daxus (Nick Chinlund), whose complete command of the hyper-high tech city where the action is set begs the unanswered question: Who can the Cardinal be?

Violet is ordered by underground leader Nerva (Sebastien Andrieu, slumming after Agnes Jaoui's "Look at Me") to retrieve an encased weapon. After mowing down an army of soldiers in her way, Violet discovers that the weapon is actually a child with special attributes named Six (Cameron Bright, far less spooky here than he was in "Birth").

Seeing that everyone is out to get Six — whose blood may contain a cure to what ails Violet and her ilk — she protects him while suffering from her own bouts of illness, with some help along the way from doc friend Garth (a wasted William Fichtner).

Inanely grim, pic could have easily been a delicious genre spoof if made by a different writer-director. Wimmer's filmmaking exudes geeky literalism and the absorption of many better chopsocky pics, but offers nothing new. Fight scenes, choreographed by Mike Smith, are repetitious, using the same ideas and moves over and over, while gunplay is "Matrix"-lite.

Jovovich builds her perf out of a series of poses, while real thesping is handled by ace character actor Chinlund.

Tech work is low quality, particularly in effects-heavy sequences that look like rough drafts rather than the finished product. Shanghai locales have inspired clean lensing by Hong Kong vet Arthur Wong Ngok Tai. Klaus Badelt's score hammers aud ears into submission.

May 22, 2009

Revolver review

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 11:42 am

Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is only superficially a crime caper in the post-spaghetti-western style of his cult hits, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch." Its main purpose — and no, you are not experiencing ocular breakdown — is spiritual.

At least, it is in the mind of its maker. The English director's newfound beliefs in Jewish mysticism, which he shares with his wife, Madonna, suffuse this movie, mostly in the narration of central character Jake (Jason Statham). As we sit through Ritchie's familiar popcorn ritual of tough talk, loud guns and con games — among a complex and confusing set of crime lords and gangsters in Las Vegas — we must also heed grave pronouncements about the art of defeating one's opponent and the superego's hindrance to our ability to commune directly with God.

Or something.

Ritchie uses every stylistic trick at his disposal to keep us entertained while he delves deeper into Jake's mental journey, from a man seeking revenge on the crime boss (Ray Liotta) he blames for sending him to the slammer to the increasing fear that he's losing his mind. And as the plot becomes increasingly convoluted — as if two Ritchie gangster stories have been accidentally fused — Jake's tortured state becomes ours. Is he really dying of a terminal disease? Is he playing tricks with himself? Is this all a dream? And when do we get to wake up from it and walk away?

The Cuckoo (2003)

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 9:47 am

September 1944. Several days before Finland, an ally of Nazi Germany, pulls out of World War II, Veico (Ville Haapasalo), a lone Finnish sniper, is turned on by his compatriots for a being a pacifist and, in their eyes, a reluctant fighter. As a punishment, the young man is placed in shackles, nailed to a heavy rock and forced to wear a German uniform, knowing full well that Russian soldiers have orders to shoot Germans on sight, without accepting surrender. Veiko is thus left to die in a remote Lapland forest, with nothing but a few supplies and his wits. Days pass, and several failed attempts, he succeeds in freeing himself and heads for safety, shackles still attached. While trying to escape, Veiko witnesses the following through his rifle’s telescope: Ivan (Viktor Bychkov), a captain in the Russian army accused of anti-Soviet correspondence, is being held prisoner by the Soviet Military secret police. Enroute to his court martial, Russian planes accidentally bomb the vehicle carrying the disregard captain, killing the driver and his guard. Not far away is Anni (Anni-Kristiina Juuso), a Lapp reindeer farmer whose husband was drafted into the way by the Finnish authorities four years earlier, never to return. Hungry and alone, the young and resourceful widow locates the bodies of Ivan and his captors while foraging for food. As she begins to bury the dead, Anni discovers that Ivan is still alive, but seriously hurt. She carries him to her wooden hut and nurses him back to health. Meanwhile, Veiko, in search of tools to remove his shackles, stumbles upon Anni’s farm. Thus World War II creates the unlikeliest of bonds (between three different people, from three different cultures, speaking three different languages.) Comic, and sometimes tragic, misunderstandings soon arise, resulting in a passionate and very human, three-way relationship. Unable to communicate with the others and unaware that the war between the USSR and Finland is over, Ivan is convinced that Veiko is a German soldier gone astray, to Ivan, the German uniform the Finnish soldier was forced to wear is further proof. But Veiko is unaware of Ivan’s hatred and just wants to cut off his shackles, return home and put the war behind him. Yet to avoid falling to enemy hands, Veiko opts to stay on Anni’s farm for temporary safety. The earthly and sensuous Anni, who has not been with a man in four years, could not be more delighted with her good fortune, language barrier be damned. For Anni, Veiko and Ivan are not enemies, but just men. An uncommon and touching bond develops, as the three unlikely souls begin a domestic routine of hunting and gathering in preparation for the long Lap winter. The two men do what they can to contribute to Anni’s well being. Veiko build a sauna and Ivan picks mushrooms… Veiko, Ivan and Anni communicate only in gesture. Starved for love and physical touch, Anni seduces young, strapping Veiko, much to the chagrin of jealous middle-aged Ivan. Then a plane crashes in the forest near Anni’s hut, spilling leaflets indicating Finland’s surrender to the Allies. Veiko thinks he can finally return home safely, but Ivan – who has not seen the leaflets – manages to rummage a pistol out of the wreckage and, still convinced that Veiko is a Fascist, shoots him. When he soon realizes that the war is over, Ivan is torn with remorse. The nurturing Anni brings Veiko back to life through a series of ancient Lapp rituals. With Veiko bedridden, Anni’s needs for companionship and sexual longing draw Ivan into her bed. Gradually, Ivan and Reiko, no longer separated by ethnic hate nor rivalry for the affections of Anni, become friends. As winter arrives and the two men head back to their respective homes in opposite directions, Anni is left behind with memories – and much more – of her two unlikely comrades in war and peace.

May 21, 2009

Between "Daredevil" and the d…

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 10:27 pm

Between "Daredevil" and the deep blue sea, there's not much difference: Both are cold and wet and dark, difficult to navigate. The sea may kill you, while the movie probably won't, but the sea nourishes oysters, lobsters, crabs, Chilean sea bass and Mrs. Paul's fish sticks, while "Daredevil" only produces indigestion.

It must be stated upfront that the movie is certainly the most violent of the comic book superhero genre, that oh-so-profitable recent market niche discovered by American FilmCorpIncAmalgamated entities. Its body count is high, and the victims mostly get stabbed or slashed to death, in ways uncomfortably graphic for its PG-13 rating. It's film noir crossed with psycho fever dreams, and it certainly lacks the joy and jokiness of "Spider-Man."

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On the other hand, if you like it dark, dark is what you get. It's even darker than the better "Batman" movies. Ben Affleck's "DD" — he leaves the initials in a flare of burning fuel at the site of his escapes — is just barely super. In most respects, he's quite mortal, which means he gets cut up badly (by a chick!), he gets a tooth knocked out, and his body, cross-hatched with scars like an Iwo Jima vet's, seems bone-tired. He's a brooder, too, and the writer-director, Mark Steven Johnson, whose first big film this is, loves to find him in heroic rumination, posed against the skyline, his body radiating fatigue and existential angst. He's the only superhero you can imagine knocking off at the end of a day, throwing the freakin' leather hood into the hamper, peeling off the boots and those skintight skin tights, collapsing on the sofa in his undies and reaching for a bottle of refreshing brown liquid.

He seems human, that is to say. Too bad he's the only human thing in the movie. In fact, that's another oddity of "Daredevil": Everybody eventually turns into something super or mythic, and poor Matt Murdock (Affleck) comes to seem the least remarkable of them. Compared with Colin Farrell's flagrant impersonation of Charlie Manson on angel dust, Affleck's broody narcissism feels undernourished.

The film begins, as per the Superhero Code, section 11-2, Subparagraph B, with origins, or "how supe got that way." Young Matt Murdock of Hell's Kitchen, N.Y., N.Y., in the recent present, learns that his beloved dad (David Keith), whom he thought was a longshoreman, is really an enforcer for a mobster. Fleeing the scene of the discovery in emotional disarray, he blunders into a barely believable industrial accident during which toxic waste is splashed into his eyes. The evil chemicals take his sight but weirdly amplify his other four senses, giving him incredible, almost sonar-like hearing acuity. As part of the package, the accident also magnifies his coordination and athletic skills. He grows up to be a lawyer by day, a masked vigilante by night.

His tailor seems to be Tom of Finland, and somewhere grad student keyboards are already clickety-clacking away on the important topics this film raises, like "Deviant Sexual Subtexts in 'Daredevil': Leather Hoods, Bindings, and Oh-Such-Tight-Pants." But that's another story.

In "Spider-Man," the project turned on making you believe a boy could swing, and conjuring the feeling of the exhilaration of arcing through gravity amid the towers of Gotham. Spider-Man swung like a pendulum do. Daredevil's device is somewhat shakier and much less convincing. When he does the locomotion, it's as old as Tarzan's deal, with flung wires in place of helpful jungle vines. After the fashion of a gaucho, he's a bolo artist, continually looping wires or filament to some sort of anchoring projection, then swinging à la Man of the Apes across New York's canyons. But so adroit is he at this arcane art, the movie proposes, he's able to do it in mid-fall. He can jump off a 30-story building and, as he's falling, sense something (he's blind, remember) to lasso, fling the filament and catch himself so effortlessly he transmogrifies the dive into a ride. No wonder his body is tired. His joints must be pure spaghetti by this time!

Maybe you can buy into this; I never could. It seemed preposterous, where Spidey's web-flinging was at least a movie illusion believable enough to go along with. I know, it sounds like a kindergartner's query: Can Spider-Man swing better than Daredevil? (Answer: Yes.) But on such matters turn mighty issues of story enchantment.

The plot quickly becomes predictable. Our hero, by day losing cases, by night takes care of miscreants the sloppy law has let slip. However, he meets a babe, one Elektra Natchios (Jennifer Garner of the TV drama "Alias"), who herself possesses advanced martial skills. For foreplay, they immediately try to kick each other in the face. Can true love be far behind?

The details that follow are too arbitrary to delineate. She's the daughter of a billionaire who has been targeted by the evil Kingpin (Michael Clarke Duncan), who hires an Irish killer named Bullseye (Farrell) to kill her father, then her, then Daredevil, who has begun to sniff out his evil plan. Lots of fights on rooftops happen, in that exaggerated modern fashion, where you're not sure if what you're seeing takes place in the real place of real space or the no place of cyberspace, with all the back-flipping and building-leaping that goes on. Again, you never quite believe it.

What you believe in, however, is the charisma of Farrell, not quite but soon to be a star. Though he's only in it a bit, he dominates those scenes and he does something Affleck can't manage: By his presence and demonism, he makes you believe his gimmick, which is even shakier than the fishing-line swinging of the hero. Bullseye is not a shooter, he's a thrower. You wouldn't want to pie-fight him, let me tell you, because he'd kill you. Anything he can pick up is a lethal weapon. He flings throwing stars, pencils, even peanuts, with fatal velocity and precision. He can turn a playing card into a .357 Magnum. Believe it? Not for a second, after the movie's finished, but while he's up there, in his brogue, doing his creepy punk undulation and wild-eyed rover boy, he is convincing.

As for Garner, well, she tries hard in a thankless role. A former ballet student, she looks best in movement, particularly when she can get those long legs into play. But she's basically pretty bland. The same can be said for Duncan, who as a villain is at least liberated from the Mythic Spiritual Negro roles he usually gets.

For the most part, "Daredevil" doesn't take a single dare; it travels the road much trod, even if it's through the midtown air.

Daredevil (115 minutes, at area theaters) is surprisingly brutal for its PG-13 rating.

"It vainly tries to flash its…

Filed under: Uncategorized — frasierandthedishranawaywiththespoonpart1 @ 7:22 am

"It vainly tries to flash its
escapist fun teeth with the usual implausible Bond plot."

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

This was the fifth James Bond film, but not one that pleased Sean
Connery who was growing tired of his character. He refused to renew his
contract, only to be lured back with all kinds of sweets four years later
to play Bond in Diamonds Are Forever. The fine theme song is sung by Nancy
Sinatra. Director Lewis Gilbert ("The Spy Who Loved Me"/Alfie"/"Moonraker")
poorly paces You Only Live Twice and seems to have shot the action scenes
in a flat businesslike manner. It's weakly written by short story writer
Roald Dahl, who further puts a damper on things by drastically changing
Ian Fleming's source novel so it's barely recognizable (yet oddly enough
this was the film most other Bond films modeled the formula after). It
vainly tries to flash its escapist fun teeth with the usual implausible
Bond plot, many mindless formulaic set-pieces, the requisite car chase,
coarse glib one-liners, gimmicky gadgets, hot chicks in bikinis, fabulous
stunts and exotic locations. What it mainly lacks by now is freshness,
as it tries to get by solely on the usual panache Connery gives to the
role–which for me, was a good enough reason to see the film. 

In the prologue, the American space mission discovers that a mysterious
unmarked spacecraft engulfs an American space capsule, and the Americans
blame the Russians. The real culprit is SPECTRE, the diabolical international
crime syndicate trying to provoke a nuclear war so that the Soviets and
the USA will destroy each other and SPECTRE would then become the dominant
force in the world. When Allied missile tracking stations reveal that the
ship came down somewhere in Japan, 007 (Sean Connery) is sent by his government
to investigate. To make things easier for him to move freely, Bond's death
is faked in Hong Kong and an elaborate funeral at sea is staged. 

Bond sneaks into Japan to meet his contact Henderson (Charles Gray),
but he's assassinated by agents of Japanese industrialist Osato (Teru Shimada)
while conferring with 007. Aided by Tiger Tanaka's (Tetsura Tamba) secret
service agent Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi), Bond discovers something fishy about
Osato's shipping enterprise. After a business meeting with Osato where
Bond pretended to be a businessman, Bond is captured by Osato's seductive
accomplice Helga Brandt (Karin Dor) and while left bound in an airborne,
pilotless plane, he still manages to get free to land the plane and escape
before it explodes. 

Discovering there's unusual activity on a Japanese island while surveying
the Japanese coastline with his Q (Desmond Llewellyn) built miniature helicopter,
Bond is then made over by Tanaga to be a Japanese fisherman to help him
investigate the island without drawing suspicion. He's given a facelift
(though he looks exactly the same afterwards), trained as a ninja and married
to a Japanese agent (Kissy Suzuki) posing as a peasant. Things become critical
when a Soviet space capsule disappears in the same way the American one
did and the Soviets blame the Americans, bringing the world powers to the
brink of nuclear war. Bond and his wife explore the island and discover
a secret hideout in a volcano. The climax has Bond saving the world in
a lavish underground cave that's fully equipped with nuclear power (courtesy
of designer Ken Adam's brilliant set design). Tanaka's hundred or so ninja's
come to rescue Bond, who has been captured in the volcano hideout of the
psychopathic sinister cat loving Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasence),
SPECTRE's number one, the mastermind behind the operation who is being
paid by the Chinese government to start a war between America and the Soviet
Union. In the volcano hideout, Blofeld uses his army and firepower to prevent
the good guys from putting an end to his bad dreams of world power but
comes out on the short end of the stick.

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