Frasier: And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon, Par

This silent mug is nearly a dancer in a nightclub dreams of fashionable an opera star.

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Some people take their jobs way too seriously. Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogan), grey matter of surveillance at a peculiar shopping mall, is one of those people. Thus, when management receives reports give illicit activity occurring on the premises, he takes them simple personally. Beside the complaints up a pervert exposing himself to women in the parking lot, after-hours robberies are winsome standing on a regular point of departure. Ronnie alerts his security staff to be on high alert, but all of their brains use together couldn't crack a three-letter crossword conundrum.

When a cosmetics counter employee named Brandi (Anna Faris) becomes the pervert's latest victim, management calls a police detective (Ray Liotta) to help catch him. Ronnie is livid that his supervisors have outsourced an investigative team. He feels that he's perfectly capable of handing the case, and would love to prove it to Brandi to win her affection. He quickly discovers, however, that Brandi's 'affection' isn't difficult to win.

Soon, Ronnie decides it's time to move on to bigger and better things (i.e. a job with a gun). He visits the local police department, learns about recruitment, and jumps right into the testing process. He passes the physical exam with flying colors, but fails the psychological exam after revealing a bipolar disorder and a morbid desire to shoot things. Ronnie is forced back into shopping mall security. Or is he?

At first glance,

Observe and Report

looks like an R-rated version of


Paul Blart: Mall Cop


. Don't be fooled by the advertisements, though. The film is anything but a friendly stroll down comedy lane.

Observe and Report

is dark, violent, and twisted, complete with startling scenes of alcoholism, heroin use, vandalism, borderline rape, child abuse, extreme profanity, and the sight of an obese man with a small penis running around naked.

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That's not to say these things aren't funny. Quite often, they're downright hilarious, just as long as your inhibitions have been left at the door. Writer-director Jody Hill gives

Observe and Report

a fearless audacity, laced with the kind of humor that dirty-minded adolescents would concoct while drinking beer and smoking weed. It's humor that you're afraid to laugh at, in fear of social judgment.

Observe and Report

unfortunately begins to unravel at the halfway point. That's when stuff gets weird, when things start happening that are so outrageous, you're sure Ronnie's having a dream — but he's not. The film becomes a pubescent fantasy where the characters act like they're inside a cartoon and there are simply no consequences for their actions. It would be one thing if the movie set itself up as a fantasy from the beginning, but it doesn't, and the rapid change of pace is awkward and confusing. We're never quite sure what to make of it.

Furthermore,

Observe and Report

introduces lots of characters and subplots, but fails to develop them. We wait patiently for the comic payoffs that are seemingly promised during the first and second acts, but they seldom come full circle. Instead, the film forgets about its original ideas and focuses on being as random as possible. By the end, we don't understand the film's humor anymore. But we definitely want some of whatever it was that the filmmakers were smoking while making the last half of the thing.

Don't call him a 'mall cop.'

Description

The world's greatest detective, Sherlock Holmes, stars in his first original game on Nintendo DS: Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of Osborne House. Here are the very first screenshots of this game of puzzles and investigation developed by Frogwares and published by Focus Home Interactive. In this brand new big adventure, especially designed for Nintendo\'s handheld system, you play as the famous detective Sherlock Holmes and you will have to shed some light on curious events. When Queen Victoria's genealogical records are stolen, the Royal Family decides to put you in charge of the case and asks you to solve this strange mystery. As always, followed by your wise and faithful friend, Doctor Watson, you will have to use your logic and observation senses through dozens of riddles, puzzles and brain teasers of all sorts. You will travel through dozens of beautifully hand-drawn places, looking for clues and new mysteries. You will also meet many charismatic characters who will help you solve this strange case and finally discover the truth!

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As featured on the wonderful PBS program Mystery!, the
Cadfael series has produced some of the most entertaining mysteries
television episodes ever produced. Based on the series of novels by author Ellis
Peters, Cadfael features the incomparable Sir Derek Jacobi as the title
character himself, Brother Cadfael. A Twelfth-Century Shrewsbury monk, Cadfael’s
razor precise analytical mind solved pretty much every mystery that popped up
around the abbey. And as an aside, there certainly were a lot of people
dying around the Cadfael’s abbey, weren’t there? And here’s another question,
one shared with the many Poirot mysteries – why do people
continue committing crimes, thefts, murders, etc. while they are around the
famous crime solver Brother Cadfael (or Hercule Poirot)? I’m sure the man
has engendered some kind of reputation by now. But there’s a simple
answer, as always: you wouldn’t have so many thrilling tales of
ratiocination. 

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In any case, one of the reasons why the Cadfael stories are so entertaining
is that of the main character himself. Cadfael is man of dimension,
with a history that adds a sense of worldliness to his adventures.
Aside from his monastic lifestyle, he was also a sailor, a Knight
of the Crusades, a healer, and a herbologist — in other words, a man of
physical prowess, intellectual achievement, and spiritual depth. Throw in a
wonderfully vivid portrayal by Derek Jacobi, and you end up with a great
television series that has entertained mystery lovers for almost a decade.

Cadfael: The Sanctuary Sparrow isn’t one of my favorite
Cadfael episodes, but it remains a decent ninety minutes of old-school mystery.
Acord Media has been releasing the series in North America,
and the resulting DVD may please fans of the series, but most likely
will do very little for the casual observer.

THE FILM

Now here’s a picture with a simple, breezy comedic premise just aching for execution that will twist it into a cult classic. “The Amateurs” had all the potential in the world to be a charming, oddball delight, but it’s a mess. A horrible mess. Albeit a horrible mess with some big laughs and the evergreen presence of Jeff Bridges, who is officially one of the few actors who can make any film tolerable even if the man just stands in the background.

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Life moves pretty slowly in the small town of Butterface Falls, leaving Andy (Jeff Bridges) frustrated with the progress of his miserable life. Looking for a way out of his depression, he concocts a plan to make an adult film with his friends (Joe Pantoliano, Ted Danson, Tim Blake Nelson, William Fichtner, and Patrick Fugit), hoping to pull together enough cash and interest from local women (Lauren Graham, Glenne Headley) to make it a success. Now with a plan, Andy and his “crew” set off to create their porno masterpiece, only no one in the town is exactly sure how to wrangle a dirty movie together.

Written and directed by Michael Traeger, “Amateurs” is a friendly comedy about smut. It sounds like an implausible mix, but the picture has a magical way of handling such potentially off-putting material. Traeger is chasing a lighthearted tone of small town camaraderie, and “Amateurs” gets surprisingly far on simple comedic ideas as the Butterface boys embark on their adult film production. It’s almost enough to focus directly on the foibles of a doomed porno, but Traeger isn’t interested in minimalism and his movie soon pays the price for his ADD approach to the story.

While the porno plot is the main thread woven throughout the film, “Amateurs” is more involved with its characters and their sitcom-like personal defects. Traeger is writing very broad material here, even branding these characters with obnoxious names such as Moose, Barney, Some Idiot, Moe, and Ron. These guys are a part of the filmmaker’s fantasy community of lovable buffoons, but they don’t earn the special subplots Traeger sets aside for each of them, especially the one in which Danson’s character is a closeted homosexual often bragging about his hetero conquests to cover his “secret.” They can put that gag to sleep any day now.

With Traeger off playing an endless game of tag with his characters, “Amateurs” loses wind quickly, not to mention the whole film is something of a jumble, with sloppy editing and a voiceover from Andy that annoyingly squeezes the viewer’s hand communicating each and every story detail as if the viewer was a complete imbecile. It gets old in a hurry. Much of the film looks cobbled together from a longer cut, with the female actors like Graham, Headley, and Valerie Perrine (as one of the porn actresses) shuffled in and out of the picture without much explanation. At first the storytelling speed is cute, but soon it reveals sizable narrative potholes that derail the film’s ache for merriment.

At least there’s Jeff Bridges, who puts in an expectedly unexpected performance as the wild-eyed center of this harebrained scheme. His reactions to production set-backs and successes are a joy to watch. Certainly, “Amateurs” has moments of hilarity: my favorites emerging from the casual batting around of sex-act euphemisms (”scrumpin’,” “honey pot,” “bangin’ donuts”), which Fichtner loves to verbally play with. There are numerous moments where the movie settles down and enjoys itself with moments of slapstick and sexual mortification, but there’s just not enough of it. The absence of insanity is disappointing.

THE DVD

Visual:

Presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1 aspect ratio), “The Amateurs” is a softly lit production, as if to amp the fairy tale quality of it all. The DVD retains the softness of the image, but loses the colors and detail along the way. It’s tough to tell if this is the fault of the original photography or the DVD presentation. Either way, the image isn’t assertive or compelling.

Audio:

The 5.1 Dolby Digital mix isn’t energetic, but separates dialogue and soundtrack cuts pleasingly. With a script this effusive, the effort is appreciated.

Extras:

A feature-length commentary track with director Michael Traeger, producer Aaron Ryder, and actor Jeff Bridges has an air of fatigue about it for one reason: “The Amateurs” has spent three years trudging through various cuts and international releases, finally ending with this DVD. The boys seem proud of their creation, and discuss the challenges of putting together a film with so many supporting characters to pay attention to. Bridges is the most articulate on this track, prodding the production team to share their feelings on putting together this low-budget comedy that went through exhibition hell. Also, the trio spends a healthy amount of time laughing at their own movie.

Fun fact: Bridges hated the screenplay at first glance. Second glance too. It took a third look and a table read to get him to commit.

“Behind the Scenes with ‘The Amateurs’” (25 minutes) is mercifully head and shoulders over the normal EPK filler that DVDs cling to. This is a fine document of the film’s production, interviewing cast and crew about highlights of the shoot. We learn about the unusual rehearsal period, watch Lauren Graham juggle (poorly), and hear about first porno experiences from a few of the cast members.

“‘The Amateurs’ Photography Book” (30 minutes) is a presentation of production pictures taken by Jeff Bridges during the shoot. These are the famous Widelux camera snapshots Bridges is known for, and a commentary is provided by the photographer, Traeger, and Ryder to explain the origins and emotions behind the book.

Finally, a theatrical trailer is included.

FINAL THOUGHTS

“Amateurs” really loses its way in the final reel with hokey contrivances: people losing body parts, fortunes achieved, and the fairy tale ending that is embarrassingly miscalculated. It’s a near-miss disaster, saved by the occasional ray of performance sunshine. Truthfully, I’ve seen real porno with stronger narrative believability and concentration than this film.

From the directors of the idiotic “Dumb and Dumber” and the hilarious “There’s Something About Mary,” Peter and Bobby Farrelly, comes the comparatively forbearing yet funny farce, “Kingpin.” You wouldn’t contemplate bowling could be much of the stuff for comedy, but the Farrellys wring passably jokes from the sport to justify a viewing. Offered in widescreen and with a full-feature directors’ commentary, the DVD makes a decorous investment for pay for or rental. To be acceptable, all the same, maybe the latter is the superior vicinity to start.

Woody Harrelson reminds us every now again what a competent actor he is, having played such diverse roles as the fuming-dog loony in “Natural Born Killers” and the porn magazine publisher in “The People Vs. Larry Flynt.” OK, some critics would claim the two roles were not that much different, but you get the idea. In any case, the character he portrays in “Kingpin” is not a great distort inasmuch as him, requiring him exclusive to repeat his persona from the age “Cheers” TV series. He plays Roy Munson, who at the beginning of the film is a naive, young, professional bowling prospect who sets off from his modest Midwestern hometown to set aside the earth on fire. He soon learns the plain way that things are not ever so easy.

He meets up with a gentleman bowling pro who lures him into hustling some smalltime gamblers. Left high and dry when the con goes pernicious, Roy is caught by the marks, who retaliate by shoving his bowling hand into a ball-return technique, maiming him for life. He spends the next seventeen years feeling dismal for himself, drinking, and selling bowling accoutrements. Then he meets Ishmael, played by Randy Quaid, an Amish husbandman with a potential for bowling greatness. Roy takes him under his wing and persuades him to be his protégé, their aim to taking a $1,000,000 conqueror-take-all bowling tournament in Reno, Nevada. At rest, nothing’s unexacting.

Despite the talents of Harrelson and Quaid, the superior character in the coat is Bill Murray as Ernie McCracken, bowling superstar and sleaze ball extraordinaire. Although he has only a few moments at the beginning and end of the vapour, it is Murray who commands attention. His charisma and comedic incomparable power are often overlooked, but he’s apparently the focus of every scene he’s in. He is the toadying insect who gets Roy in trouble in the sooner place, and he is the man to bailiwick in the climactic bowling match. It’s a part Murray honed to perfection on “Saturday Incessantly Live,” and again he trots out the stodgy artillery. Also along fit the ride is the beautiful and curvaceous Vanessa Angel as Claudia, another con artist who wants a as far as someone is concerned of the Reno prize.

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Randomly I realize that no person of this sounds particularly funny. Gush, you’d be right in ditty respect: There are sustained stretches that crumple two-dimensional, more than few stale antics, and any copy of poorly timed jokes gone awry. But for the most participate in, it’s a good-natured take, one that made me smile on a number of occasions and mock at out loud at least twice. The humor is largely of the “Airplane” medley, fast one-liners and continuous unseeable gags. Not all of it works, naturally, but straightforward musty jokes can be funny when newly minted. An Amish grandmother with whiskers is funny; the results of Roy’s difficult to wring a bull and Ishmael’s ignorance of the workings of a conspicuous urinal are also amusing. Maybe Roy’s sexual encounter with his less-than-captivating landlady and Ishmael’s bolt as a go-go dancer are not honestly as successful.